Mookie fact of the day:

I knew it all along.

If he's not calling...

Here's a Mookie fact classic: 14% of all people have dropped their cell phone in a toilet

Mookie says: RIP DJ AM

I used to see you out at parties. People were worried when that plane crashed.

But you made it. 

Now you're dead.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32691528/ns/entertainment-celebrities/

mookie fact of the day pt 2.

See posting from July 27th. 

Twitters take shits more than normal people, and they bring their fucking i phones to the toilet and that's how they stay updated, which means that 80 % of what you read on twitter was written while somebody was taking a shit.

Mookie says: Fashion is...

R: Are you feeling better now?

Mookie: No, but I faked it for 3 hours
saw 2 shows and went home
took off all the glamour, and might have to put it back on for an hour
R: oh, was it worth it?
Mookie: Yeah, always. Young beautiful boys
are you kidding me?
Plus old, rich drugged men
It's a fabulous cocktail...
add a dozen cameras and some bitchy women
and you have it

True Story Tuesday

I'm watching dumb TV because I don't know what else to do.

Somehow, in my absence from LA, I start to realize how Hollywood dictates reality. 

I flip from "The City" to another channel. I'm pissed. What is up with Los Angeles shows that pretend to reflect NYC? 

Fucking Gossip girl. 

Hello. The only people at Pinkberry in Manhattan are from LA.

Mookie fact of the day

There are more photographers than cab drivers in NYC.

True Story Tuesday

It's 10 pm on a Friday night and everybody on østerbrogade (in Copenhagen) is too drunk to walk straight.

mookie fact of the day

Twitters take shits more than normal people do, it's the social network preference for "colonic-ally challenged".

True Story Tuesday

I'm FIRST at the gate?!?

WHAT?!? And you know you're in Copenhagen when it looks like this:

You know you're in Scandinavia when you can take these photos without dealing with officials. 

Mookie fact of the day

The handbag of an average woman is 87% more likely to contain traces of salmonella than an average chicken.

Mookie says:

Fucking Jojo knows more about love than I do

True Story Tuesday

I googled the words: What am I doing with my life

...and got 115,000,000 results

Mookie fact of the day

There is a 97% chance that the person you'll end up with is already in your contacts.

True Story Tuesday

You know you're in Malibu when Anthony Kiedis is wearing so much sunscreen you can barely see his face, as he waddles by some insane diver who caught a 3 foot sea bass. Meanwhile, flipper and co are swimming in the waves, and the only people of color are wearing linen suits, nikes and posing for wedding photos.

Mookie fact of the day

If you have the hiccups forever, you will die.

Mookie says:

Honor.

Such a Jersey concept.

Mookie says: Basketball woes

I miss basketball. That was my relationship. We had a good 10 day run, I didn't leave the house, we just messed around 4 hours every night. Now I gotta wait until Thursday and it's killing me.

pretty things pt 2

Mookie fact of the day

It is healthier to eat dessert before dinner.

Mookie says: Basketball is where it's at

How insane is the NBA right now? I'm convinced the Olympics made everybody better.

These games are all I care about, it's all I'm gonna be doing...

and a salute to BJ for being dope.

Pretty things

Mookie says: Spring is turning into summer

I'm bringing back the low-five and the make-out.

True story Tuesday: Back on the block

Two old guys, one in a Lexus, the other in a Mercedes, are bitching at each other like wanna-be New Yorkers. A 4 year-old just tried to hit on me while his nanny was pushing him in a stroller. I almost got killed by a stressed-out SUV driving soccer mom on her cell phone, and what the fuck is up with that garbage truck that keeps coming back?

Go vote!

Get that butt to the polls. It's your RIGHT.

Mookie fact of the day

Before a big earthquake, animals will run away, so watch the rats.

Killa Cam and the recession

I hate my job...

This is what hip hop is all about.

True Story Tuesday

Coolest couple on the block call it quits.

Jay and Beyonce were the kids in school with bucked teeth, who ate their own boogers, had really annoying parents, and would do anything to feel accepted.

Nas and Kelis were cool. They did what they wanted.

Uncool people who used to eat boogers, stay in Texas and endure ridiculous marriages.

When cool people grow up, they get divorced. 

href="http://www.vibe.com/news/online_exclusives/2009/04/nas_and_kelis_divorce_confirmed/">

Mookie fact of the day

59% of everybody who has partied at Dunkel in Copenhagen has had something stolen at Dunkel.

Mookie games: Beyonce or Rihanna?

A new party game.

Ask them to choose between Beyonce or Rihanna.

Then ask them to choose between the winner and their ex.

Then ask them to choose between the winner and Kate Moss.

Their answers will tell you everything you need to know. 

Mookie fact of the day

Animals bite humans twice as often during full moon.

True Story Tuesday: R.I.P.

squished by a tree...

What a way to go...

http://politiken.dk/indland/article705106.ece

Stockholm spring.

It's like Tokyo, but in Swedish

True Story Tuesday

A well known Swedish fuck up gets himself ridiculously drunk at a function we are both attending, and I assume he is trying to hit on me when he claims that he "lost his key". I've heard that trick before, so I deny him access to the hotel we both are staying at. I also steal 4000 SEK from him, convinced that he'll just spend it on something foolish - like a cab to Oslo, or drugs, both suggestions that he had mentioned while I searched his bag for the missing key.

Next morning, I realize he REALLY did lose his key when he shows up day of the function in the same clothing I left him in, stating that some of the other hotel guests had notified the reception that a "bum" was sleeping in the parking lot. 

Ego check Mookie: Sometimes they don't want to fuck.

Sometimes the truth, is the truth.

Consider this next time he says: "I lost my key"

Mookie fact of the day

The amusement park Tivoli, in Copenhagen is 100% flammable, and if it caught on fire, a radius of 1 km would be destroyed without anybody being able to do anything about it.

True Story Tuesday

TRL is no more. Now, The Virgin Megastore on times square that once overlooked MTV stars across the street, has also closed it's doors. 

The location will become a Marshalls.

A fucking Marshalls.

Mookie fact of the day

To make fresh water out of salt water: 

Place salt water in a bowl 

Put another smaller bowl into the salt water without letting the salt water into the second bowl

Wrap it all in plastic

Place a stone on top of the plastic, so it dips into the empty bowl in the middle

The sun will heat it all up and the evaporated fresh water will gather into the bowl in the center

Mookie says: I love you goddamnit

Stop this shit, you know I'm yours.

True Story Tuesday

You know you're in LA for spring break...

When Alchemist is buying pot from the dealer next to the taco shop, before driving of with unrecognizable rapper in escalade.

Mookie fact of the day

Walking downhill is harder for the muscles.

Mookie says: It's coming

Mookie says: Don't fix me up. Don't fuck me up. Don't shut me up.

Digging in the archives for that special something. 

It's been a rough week. 

Normally Rachmaninoff does the trick, 

but Mookie had to up it with some QB.

True Story Tuesday

You know you're in Brooklyn...

While shopping at a corner store, a lady is attacked by another with a bag of tomatoes, because she was "taking too long". Instead of jumping to her aid, the other people in line said nothing. Only one merchant spoke up by shouting:
"Brooklyn"

Mookie fact of the day

It takes the mind 24 hours to recover from air travel. Add 4 hours for every stop over.

I live in LA

Mookie says: I don't wanna text you up

Do you ever talk on that phone...
Or do you just finger it?

True Story Tuesday

Overheard in traffic:

Yeah, wow. 63 years of being black. I remember when we were the first black family on the block.

If we acted out, the neighbors would beat us. Then we'd come home to another belt from moms, who would warn us with the words: Don't make me have to tell your father, cause he is going to be tired when he gets home from work. 

If we were really unlucky, we would still get that third beating of the day from pops. 

 

Mookie fact of the day

People who have lots of sex are more likely to have more because they release pheromones.

Mookie says: meow

Wow... and I still can't wear animal prints.

BJ Armstrong update

If you didn't know...

http://www.nba.com/2009/news/features/dave_mcmenamin/03/25/rookie.rankings.20090325/index.html

True Story Tuesday: Those veggies on the first lawn

Hey Alice Waters...

Check this out!

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/03/20/white.house.garden/index.html

Mookie fact of the day

Right now, more people are in love with the wrong person than with the right one.

Mookie says:

Jim Jones with lipstick?

True Story Tuesday: Waiting for the economy to recover

Elaborate brush-off lines in 2009:

An undeserving guy I like told me with a straight face: 

I'll call you once the financial world stabilizes.

Mookie fact of the day

If you don't put holes in your potato before you microwave it, it will blow up.

How hot are you really?

True Story Tuesday

One month of yoga: 95 dollars
Monthly bus card for rides from Santa Monica to downtown: 70 dollars
Roast duck and baby bok choy shared 3 ways: 13 dollars
Knowing other people are upset about the uninteresting uninterested men in LA, the empty streets downtown and not being able to get a dinner after 10 pm on a fucking Friday:

Priceless.

Mookie fact of the day

There is a new successful cancer treatment that involves microwaving a breast by submerging it into water, and excluding the heat.

Things change

Yesterday was once called tomorrow.

True Story Tuesday

This is the wild west...

Bank robbery, full with bandanna mask and paper bag of loot seen on the corner of Beverly and Fairfax at 4 pm in the afternoon.

Mookie fact of the day

When you are attracted to somebody, there is a 86 % chance that they are attracted to you as well.

Semla time

Stockholm style...

http://www.pastan.nu/ataute/vete-katten-gor-stockholms-basta-semla-1.486360

Mookie fact of the day meets True Story Tuesday pt. 2

The A/C debate continues.

(see mookie fact of the day meets true story Tuesday, Dec 9th)

According to a passenger on the freeway express 10 bus...

Air conditioning spreads germs.

The driver didn't believe him.

He responded bluntly with a stern voice: No, the warm air spreads germs. That's why there's air conditioning in the operation room.

The Passenger had a comeback for that:

No... They have A/C in the OR because the doctors get stressed out and don't want to sweat on the patients.

Mookie says: What ever happened to...

We called her Horse-Face Amil. That was mean.

Chirp. People used to tell us all their business on these. Walkie-talkie bullshit, without the option to remove speakerphone feature... Genius

True Story Tuesday

Nate Robinson: 5'9 ish, clad in kryptonite green, dunks over Dwight "Superman" Howard, 6'11

Yes yes yes.

Mookie fact of the day

If you were forced into a survival situation, such as having to run off a rooftop and jump over an alley onto another rooftop there is a 85% chance that you, regardless of size would be able to dunk if there was a hoop elevated above the alley so that it stuck up 10 feet above the rooftop surface. But it couldn't be because of a direct threat, like for example,  we'll kill you if you don't dunk. It has to be in an escape sequence, such as having to run off a rooftop and jump over an alley onto another rooftop to survive.

Mookie says: All Star Weekend

New York has Fashion Week. 

Vegas has Magic.

Every lover has Valentines Day.

But none of it matters.

I'm going to watch basketball until I peuck

True Story Tuesday

Heard on the 10...

Can you believe it...? The Beatles split up. Yeah, and tell me more about Alabama. Is it a big state and is it expensive?

Mookie fact of the day:

The average person really falls in love 3 times during their life.

Mookie says:

Sometimes we feast

True Story Tuesday

When night falls in the rich hood...

Birth control is found at a middle school?!?

Wow. 

Mookie fact of the day pt.2: uh, not really

HOLD THAT THOUGHT:

I was about to publish the following message as a supplement to the mookie fact of the day entered on Jan 26th:

That means the rest of us non-puritans need to keep it busy.

We have to get it for the virgins.

But that was before a strange encounter at a middle school...(see True Story Tuesday Feb 3).

It seems like the virgins are getting it enough to need birth control pills.

sooo.... never mind that.

Mookie fact of the day:

There are more photographers than cab drivers in New York City.

Mookie says: being sixth is like being third twice, Chef Timothy Hollingsworth

Being sixth is really like being third twice.

So let me tell you a little something about being third...

In a recent text convo with fellow fantasy league player who shall remain anonymous, Mookie reflected on the meaning of ranks and has now realized how a certain basketball situation can be just like Timothy's experience at Bocuse d'Or.

Basketball Jones:
P: Nr one in fantasy again
mookie: ooooohhhh

mookie: what's my rank?
P: I will not lose... Nr 3 as always
mookie: hahah!!! Number 3, loyalty before dishonesty, the mookie code of conduct
p: Write it in your blog
mookie: number one and two will destroy each other and out of the smoke the number 3 will conquer all. Mookie through the ruins with sword in hand to triumph the basketball fantasy league and claim the crown!!!!

The moral of the story is: Timothy, Sweden and Norway will kill each other, twice, and you will be number 1. 

So, hey. Mookie salutes.

http://www.bocusedor.com/2009/en/index.php

Chef Timothy Hollingsworth

CA was in France.

I said the kitchen prayer, but alas, it went to a Norwegian and the Swede snagged second place...

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-bocuse-award29-2009jan29,0,6477874.story

read this too:

http://dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/27/beyond-the-bocuse-dor/?hp

white house update

Go Obama go!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/29/us/politics/29obama.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper

True Story Tuesday

A pair of insanely expensive Italian heels: $450

A cab to Hollywood: $42

Glass of water with tip: $2

A cab back to Santa Monica: $41 

Making a 2 minute scene in front of that ass who never called back...

Priceless.

The recession makes me EMO

How amazing is Baz? Throwback teenland angst. Holla.

Mookie fact of the day:

The average person will fuck 10 different people in their life.

LA makes me EMO

LA made me emo (emotionally)...
I saw the Raveonettes live last night, they rocked it.
I remember getting butt-wasted, meaning even my butt was alcoholic, at a bar in Istedgade, Copenhagen, while listening to their ENTIRE album multiple times. 

save the soaps!

Come on people...
Where would we be without outrageous plots, ridiculous scripts and disastrous character back-stories?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28815777/?gt1=43001

BJ Update!!!

Q and A with Bill Cartwright... about BJ Armstrong

I bumped into the former player and later assistant coach for the Bulls, Bill Cartwright in NY.

He was having drinks with friends, and walked by the bar.
Naturally, I took the chance to ask him about BJ:
Q: Hi Mr. Cartwright. How is BJ?
A: Uh, well, BJ... is doing well, he's actually working for a management company, he moved around for a while...
Q: But where is he now?
A: He is living in LA...

Q: Great. That's great to know.

A: ...and actually, he's single.

Countdown Obama: after the party

True Story Tuesday: pt. 2, inauguration moments and junk food

watching the first couple dance and crying my eyes out over a chili-dog.

Countdown Obama: when people come together

I cried, we all cried.
We stood and froze and didn’t complain, we were all so very thirsty for hope.

Mookie says: Welcome the new Royalty, Michelle and Barack Obama

Sometimes America is grand.

True Story Tuesday: Mr. President, Barack Obama

It happened.
It really happened.

Countdown Obama: some of those parties

POP CHAMPAGNE SANTOGOLD!!!

Also seen on the scene... De La Soul, Common, Sam and Lindsay, John Legend, those Maroon 5 wankers, Moby, Rosario Dawson, Michael Stipe, Jessica Alba, Heather Graham and Tim Robbins. Politikkin. Barack Steady Crew. Presidential black. 

Countdown Obama: Martin Luther King Jr. Day on the streets of DC

Got those tix!!!!!

...And this was the line, in the end, that girl from high school hooked it up.

Getting ready...

Thank you MLK!

Mookie fact of the day:

During your life you will have consumed 5880 liters of beer.

Countdown Obama: the streets are ready

DC...

Countdown Obama: the art of Shepard Fairey and friends

                  Yo... can you believe Barack is going to be president?

Mookie stopped to check out a gallery on M street.
DC is alive, we are all alive and colorful. Real and interested.

We are awake.

http://www.manifesthope.com/

Presidential food

Yes, 

It's true, Cristeta Comerford is staying at The White House. 

Now we just need to wait and see if Alice Waters and co finally get what they always wanted: An organic garden on the "first lawn". I say yes! 

P.S. Check out the Lincoln menu...

http://www.latimes.com/features/food/la-fo-inaugural14-2009jan14,0,5905247.story