New Year, New attitude

Time to stop hating on LA. 

Mookie's resolution is to be positive about the city of Angels.

Everybody needs a little local loving.

The BJ Armstrong Anthem

Dear friends and Supporters,

At team Mookie we treat all our alumni with respect and loyalty- just
check out the BJ Armstrong anthem if you don't believe it:

The BJ Armstrong Anthem

BJ, why did you go away?
Please BJ come back and play
It's not the same without you on the courts
Looking good in your Bulls short shorts
BJ we really really love you
Team Mookie is here dude
When you're done being a sell out in Cali
We'll buy you a mansion with a big court in Bali

Brought to you by the supporters of Team Mookie and Management 

as well as the fund behind "stop hating on Team Mookie"

"Get your ass on the court"
-Mookie

True Story Tuesday

You know you're in Red Hook...

When somebody throws a TV at you.

Mookie says: Before we go overboard with the love for LA...

Vomit- city.

God peucked suburbs and it became LA.

That's how we know god is Swedish.

Mookie fact of the day:

0.7% of the global population is drunk right now

the best of 08... more more more

Good riddance Mr. Bush!!

The end of a disgusting era.

Can the world please keep it together for a few more days?

call off the cowards

bombing doesn't solve anything

An '08 BJ Armstrong salute

Cause here at Team Mookie, nobody retires.

The best of '08

Mookie says: 

Thanks for making it wild.

True Story Tuesday

You know you're in LA when...
Everybody on the bus is in agreement to persuade the 720 bus driver to roll through the In and Out drive thru.

One passenger even tried to have an order made for delivery at the Westwood bus stop.

Mookie says: What about that Team Spirit?

It's December, 

We're all broke. 

It's either too damn cold or too damn hot.

People are going to split up in a few weeks, 

People are going to want to kill themselves.

Right now, the booze is spilling, and asses are jumping up on xerox machines.

If you ever wanted to fuck that boss... now is the time. 

If you ever wanted to document office mayhem, and family complexities... 

Go get the camera. 

You aren't alone if you feel overwhelmed. 

The team is here.

Breathe.

That's the spirit.

Here at Team Mookie, when the going gets tough, we look at our idol and ask: 

What would BJ Armstrong do?

Life is a fucking roller coaster. The best part is the trip down. 

Put your hands up and enjoy the ride.

Or just chill and eat a cookie.

Mookie fact of the day:

Escalator Regret Syndrome is increased by 76% in December

Happy everything from the BJ Armstrong fan club

True Story Tuesday

You know you're in LA...

I was offered a one-day bus pass and vicodin on the corner of Sunset and Park in Echo Park at 1 am on a Saturday night, for the fine price of 10 bucks.

Mookie fact of the day:

It is 11 times easier to recover skin cancer than breast cancer.

Mookie says:

Since it became mandatory among idiotic street savvy male morons to provide an "I'm not homosexual" disclaimer before any endearing or observational comments regarding the same sex, the term "no homo", in addition to it's obvious stupidity, has become standard and lame. 

I instead challenge you to take absurdity a step further, by adopting the term "no incest". 

It works well with any comments about relatives. 

For example: Hey sis- I really like that bathing suit- no incest. 

Or: Hey dad - I love your boots - no incest.

Let's make everybody uncomfortable.

Mookie fact of the day meets true story Tuesday

It was rude of me to make y'all wait until Tuesday for the knowledge you've been thirsting...

However, as you will soon discover, it was well worth it.

Today Mookie brings you the delayed Monday mookie fact of the day, straight from the mouth of an LA bus driver- a true story Tuesday tale.

720 bus line, Westwood, 11:37 pm, 42 degrees

When politely asked to: "turn on the heat", the bus driver simply shook his head. 

I thought for a moment, why not? Every window on this thing is broken and it's unusually chilly in Los Angeles. In fact, I was freezing. 

She looked at me and asked for my beanie (since I couldn't figure out if the driver was male or female, I'm going to alternate between he and she throughout the story): 

"Can I have your hat?"

"What?", I replied.

"I'm really cold", he said, pulling my hand towards his, 

"Here, feel how cold my hands are - they've been on the cold steering wheel all day."

Uhm... What the fuck do you say to that?

The motor hummed through the awkward silence.

"Uhm, so turn on the heating system."

She looked away, with a straight and stern face, suitable only for an experienced driver, and paused. Waiting to pull to a stop at the cross light before looking back at me to answer:

No, Tuberculosis lives in the heat.

NPR on Kanye

So true.. so true.

Mastermookie salutes Public Broadcasting.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/sundaysoapbox/2008/11/kanye_west_autotune_crooner_1.html

food police at it again...

I need you bad like the food I eat?!?!??!?

True Story Tuesday

Real life.

True story...

Keep ya posted

Lollipop

Mookie fact of the day:

87% of all haters have been abused

Mookie's pissed. Don't fuck with the food.

What the fuck is this??

I order tea at a Cincinnati Airport Starbucks: "with honey please"

Then I get this. 

I probably wouldn't have noticed a thing, cause it looked just like the real deal.

But nooooo...

Read it and weep:

Honey, high fructose corn syrup, sugar, corn syrup, natural flavoring, caramel color

Mookie is pissed.

Bring back the bear!

Artificial bullshit junk saturated with garbage ingredients masquerading as a decent product = pure evil = The reason why people can't taste anything and are addicted to fast crappy food.

Sure, it didn't help the barista's case that I was all worked up, reading a biography about Chez Panisse and Alice Waters - the founder of California Cuisine, an avid organic spokesperson and American member of the Italian Slow Food movement. Poor Megan in the green smock had it coming. 

But with my favorite holiday just around the corner, I figured it was perfect timing for a little reminder to eat good. She understood in the end.

Mookie fact of the day:

Men who eat a lot of soy products are more likely to have baby girls when they get somebody pregnant.

P.S. Keep yo eyes peeled like an orange...

Mookie facts will be dropping knowledge every Monday.

Mookie says, LA life...

LA is full of 'aha moments'.
I just realized that Nick Cannon married Mariah Carey.

Or, should we say, The greatness of their union just dawned on me. 

Friday night at 9:35 pm.

The epiphany was brought on in conjunction with a cinematic masterpiece. 

Yes, I did spend all night watching Drumline- in it's entirety, and yes- it was a Friday. 

But my mind is full of awe and wonder. Did Mariah ever see this movie? He must have been 18 when they filmed it and she would have been 35 at the time. Do you think nick ever saw Glitter? How many times do you think he saw Glitter? Maybe they both trip out on mushrooms and Ritalin and view theatrical highlights from 2001 together on MC's flatscreen. 

Puppies strewn all across the sofas.

Mookie fact of the day:

Never bike in a storm, your chances of getting struck by lightning are increased by 200%

It's a bird... It's a plane... no it's bombed ice cream

Copenhagen style

Mookie says, pt 2, LA lines:

A follow-up to the aforementioned study of LA behavioral despair:

I decided to spend approximately 3 hours sandwiched between hipster A and photog-blog-mod B, in a town called Hollywood. 

Ah, nightlife... all in the name of science.

The following statements have NOT been changed to protect the innocent.

During a Tuesday night at Dim Mak's packed Cinespace party between the hours of 11 pm and 2 am PST only two people spoke to me.

This is what they said:

1. Are you holding that seat?

2. Are you Alex Holmes' sister?

For the purpose of proving a point, Will and I conducted a study of the "Yo Ma" phenomenon known in NY. Somewhere between the hours of 11 pm and 2 am EST, on a similar Tuesday night, I ventured to Harlem via the A train. Walked a few blocks through the empty projects (it was a chilly night) and arrived at a stoop across the street from a deserted playground.

I got my first "Yo Ma" about 1 minute after I got to the door. I don't know where it came from - I couldn't see anybody on the street. 10 seconds after that, I got an anonymous "Yo shorty" - likely from a window.

Conclusion: 

Within about 5 minutes you can get picked up out of nowhere in NY's projects.

In LA, you're lucky if someone spills a drink on you.

Keep it simple...

Jordans or vans or dunks or nike SBs, denims, and a white tee.

Johnny P says: "You look good"

SUMMERTIME!!!!!

If you don't know, now you know

These dames had it down. 

Butter and booze in all the food. 

Sometimes the fall of great things goes under the radar... 

Ten days before her death 9 years ago, Jennifer Paterson had met with her friend and colleague Clarissa Dickson Wright, who had brought caviar. 

"She didn't see the point of flowers - she'd rather have caviar."

Here's a WAY delayed tribute.

RIP VIP 1999

Mookie fact of the day:

Tokyo, Japan is the most populated city in the world

I'm here!

Big up to all the supporters. I made it to the blog. Watch out!

Oh shit.

I'm mookie. Mookie says:

In LA, people don't talk to strangers.

LA won't give you the time of day unless sombody who is cool has determined you "cool".

I am going to get to the bottom of this.